I WOULD describe myself as being at a stand still. Right now, I recognize what is wrong, I am taking steps to fix it, but I know that the timeline won’t let me recover fully right now. At least I know that what I am experiencing is a bad case of burnout. Here is my burnout timeline and the actions I am making to recover:
APRIL 2019: After three months of therapy, I accepted I was experiencing a bad case of burnout. It was an emotional realization! I like my boss. I like parts of my work. But this had been my experience for at least six months.
JUNE 2019: Took a full week off work. This was not easy. I am a type A control freak and I am alright with this. There are things I do for my job that I am very attached to, and letting go for a week was a good exercise for me. Also I got to travel to Washington DC and visit a bunch of museums. Fun trip, good experience, made me feel better about my burnout brain for exactly one week after.
JULY 2019: Started intense research on other jobs. I turned 29 and decided to give myself one year to make some major changes. I did have the startling realization that permanent true recover could not happen in my hometown. I need to change the scenery I live in for a significant amount of time.
AUGUST 2019: Breakdown. Nothing feels like it’s making me happy. All the research into other jobs is making me stressed out, not making me feel like there a way to move forward excited about life. Finally, it dawns on me: there is no job that will make me feel fulfilled. To feel this way again, I am going to have to take time off and let my brain heel. But I know how to do this! Travel! I turn my year of making changes into my year of preparing to travel long-term in SouthEast Asia! Finally, I start to feel excited about waking up again.
SEPTEMBER 2019: Create this blog. Writing is nice! I give myself the task of recording my journey and not worrying about using this space for anything other than creative expression at the moment. I also make some major steps forward in preparing for my trip:
I am 37% of the way to having no non-student loan debt!
I made appointments to start the vaccination process!
I started selling some of my things on eBay!
OCTOBER 2019: one week of scheduled do-nothing time off. Eight days of not having to wake up to an alarm! No scheduled travel time! I am going to do nothing that requires me to make money for one week. I am so excited.
I am happy with where my journey is taking me and I am looking forward to charting my progress moving forward.